Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
