Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
