He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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