No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I need moral support for this bender
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
