I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I need water and some morals
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