Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
