she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
