You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
