she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
