dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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