Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
