puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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