imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
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In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
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I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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