haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
