im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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