Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
