how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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