She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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