sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
even my farts smell like vagina
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We're too hungover to prance.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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