shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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