The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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