She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
