I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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