You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
