Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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