I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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