Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
