I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
