Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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