i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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