the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
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I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
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your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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