Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
