she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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