Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
