Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
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He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
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You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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