There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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