And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize