Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
