I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
