I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
