Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
