No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
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My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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