You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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