I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
