When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize