Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize