yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
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Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
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I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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