I must be too annoying 4 u.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Life is so much better after having sex.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
