So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
