I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
