recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
