I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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