I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
