shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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