she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Quick, to the slutcave!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
