Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My liver is preforming stress tests.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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