Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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