are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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