Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
