I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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