I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
How does it feel to date your dad?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
