She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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