For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
