i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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