About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
