i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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