? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
