So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok