you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
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I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
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Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.