i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
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I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.