i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize