wakey wakey hands off snakey
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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